Lost in War.

"In this proud land we grew up strong,
We were wanted all along.
I was taught to fight, taught to win.
I never thought I could fail."

To be at war with someone - it's like you're on two different sides of the battlefield.

The fact that the other side just make you so angry; it will help you to never give up the fight.
Every ally of theirs is another enemy of yours. And even if they are the seemingly innocent ones of this war - you're not going to let them win. You're not going to let it end. Not until they understand that you're right, and they're wrong. You're strong and they're weak. You will fight until you get what you want.

You keep at it, keep struggling, and you can see the toll you're taking on them. You can see the damage you've made - and you're proud of it. You can see them starting to weaken, and it sends you on a high that only you, personally, can feel.

And you will never give up - well, so you thought.

Until you look back at your own team of fighters. Your own army. 

You notice that they're growing tired of your countless charades, your repetitive attacks, and your useless tactics. 

They're finally bored of your ongoing rants and your newest schemes. 

"Just give up." They say, a last desperate plea. They can see that however weak the other side is - you're no closer to winning. Because without realising it - you're just as pathetic as they are. 

And with this new mindset - you see everything differently. You notice that it is your own blood  that is spilled across "No Mans Land". It's your own men who have fallen, your own limbs that have been lost. Suddenly, the fact that you're fighting for a lost cause becomes dominant, and faith slips from your hands. The confidence for winning that you possessed before is now gone, and you are left with that sinking feeling of failure.

"Because without realising it - you're just as pathetic as they are."

It's all about the way you view the fight. Winning isn't really about defeating the opposition. It's more about keeping them from defeating you.

And that is something that many people, including myself, are yet to finally understand. 

I am fighting in a war that is not even recognised on the other side of the battlefield. It is not reciprocated in any way. So technically, I'm fighting a war with myself.
And I'm losing.

"No fight left or so it seems.
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted.
I've changed my face, I've changed my name,
But no one wants you when you lose."