The Dreamtime.

"This pathetic excuse for a town,

That holds all your memories,
A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams.
To be anywhere but here,
But baby anywhere is away from me."

Dreams. Sometimes they can be so simple or so strange - it's hard to know their purpose.

The dictionary defines dreams as:
"A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep."
And that's the thing. They're involuntary. We don't choose them, they just come to us; forever transforming and morphing into the things we want; the things we need; the things we're fighting for; the things we're afraid of. Even the things we can't have. 

So the definition of a dream - to me - is more like torture.

Even if the dream is a "good" one, and you wake up refreshed and longing for it - it still is just a tease. 

My dreams mess with my heart, and mess with my mind.

Like most people's dreams, mine incorporate things that have happened that day, things I have worried about, and things that just don't even make sense.

That's why they always seem to have you in it. Whether you appear for about two seconds, or are the feature of the "storyline" - you are there. If my subconscious is acknowledging that I can't have you, or if it is still longing for you, depends on whether I have spoken to you that day, or my emotional state at the time of sleep.

"My dreams mess with my heart, and mess with my mind."

Most of my dreams have revolved around not having you. About you being viewed as the villain in each dream, and me having some other love interest - someone who's face is always unfamiliar to me - but is slowly beginning to form into someone I know. But the last time that happened, my "boyfriend" had eaten me because he was a zombie, and my dad was the only person who hadn't been zombified because (as he put it) he was "good at heart, and can't be transformed." So perhaps that dream didn't mean much in that area.

But now I'm worried.

Because my mind - is telling me I still love you. I mean, I still obsess over you, and think about you a lot.

But my heart is telling me otherwise. Like when I see a certain someone else's name come up on screen - I skip a few beats, and need a quick recover of mental reassurance that I'm not supposed to like them. That I don't like them. That I can't like them.

And that - is always the first sign of me liking someone.

And that sucks.

I fear it's going to spur on a lot more sleepless nights.

And smashed hearts. 

"Nevermind what people say,
Hold your head high and turn away.
With all our hopes and dreams,
I will believe, even though it seems it's not for me."