Happy Go Lucky.

"You make me happy,

Whether you know it or not.

We should be happy,

That's what I said from the start." 

You know what's really weird?

When you're sitting at a party, seeing tetris shapes everywhere, and you realise - wow. I'm really, really happy.

Now most people would think that I was high, or taking drugs at said party.

But I wasn't. 

I wasn't even drinking.

For the past couple of days, I've been generally happy. And the strange thing is - I feel weird about it.

If someone is happy - as a longterm emotion, not a passing feeling - they should feel good about everything.

Life is at peace. 

And nothing is wrong.

But I know that my life isn't perfect.

Hell, there's a shitload of things wrong with my life.

But I don't feel like I deserve to be happy right now. 

I'm guilty of so many things. 
Especially leading on male friends.
Even if I don't mean to.

"Maybe I should just embrace this excessive happiness, instead of over-analyzing everything in my life."

So why the hell am I so happy?
I don't have a boyfriend.
I feel like I push my friends away.
I live in a household full of comparison and competition.
I spend my life sitting on the computer.
Why should I be allowed to feel this way?


But maybe I should just take this happy feeling and go with it.
Maybe I should just...embrace this excessive happiness.
Instead of over-analyzing everything in my life. Like I always do.


Perhaps I should just be like the character I'm playing in the Wizard of Oz musical. Whenever the Scarecrow falls down, he just laughs it off and gets back up again.
Because even though I know this happiness has to go back down at one point, perhaps I should just learn to laugh it off and get back up again.
And you know what?
That's just what I'll do.